Archive for May, 2011

Not Fitting In

It’s my fault my kids don’t fit in. I taught them honesty to a fault, morals and gave them common sense. All things I was raised with. Little of which would have been followed through on had I stayed married to their dad who had a different way of looking at things thus finding his own path without us. I’m not sad about it now having happened some 17 years ago. Unfortunately it still does affects usl. My kids grew up without a dad who only intermittently participated in their lives and of recent produced a half brother for them with his third wife. His actions are not unusual according to the rest of the world but for our way of life it is deplorable. None of which is the fault of his third wife or their sweet baby boy. Both of whom I pray will not suffer in their life with him as we have both in his life and outside of it. Though we have not reached the grateful point for all that is and has happened with their dad, we are utterly grateful for what has come of all our troubles, our tight bond with each other. So tight is our bond that my youngest daughter, who is doing far better than the rest of us, is buying a house and invited us to live with her. She is buying a much bigger house than she herself will ever need, 4 bedrooms and 2 baths, but it is just the right size to house her, my son, myself, my daughter, her husband and my grandbaby. I know you might be saying, “I would never try to live with that many people in the house” or ” I would never get along with my family enough to live with them.” I hear you, but we are a few of the lucky ones. I can not say it is all my doing but whatever I did right raising a family who gets along and supports each other it was worth the work. I focused on them when they were growing up and now they are focusing on us. Yes it is unusual in this day and time to have such a family bond and even more unusual that a family would want to move in together instead of struggle out in the world alone but to us it is normal. Not fitting in is paying off.


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Sunday is my favorite day of the week. Other than getting up around 8 to feed my brood of rehab squirrels, giving my daughter’s cat her meds and feeding my cat I can sleep in or go back to sleep. Sometimes it does not work such as this morning when one of my little squirrel guys leaps from his cage to freedom and I spend the next 20 minutes either coaxing him back into his cage with a nut or grabbing him once he lands on a slick surface. At that point I’m up. So it’s now coffee time. Too tired to make a real cup of coffee where I grind the beans then put it all in my French Press to brew, I just boil water and make instant. Still good enough. Ahhhhh!!!! Hot coffee in the morn. My favorite. While I sip the hot creaminess I watch my little grandbaby sleep. He is angelic. A true gift from God. The last few days I have found myself adding in my conversations about him, “if I never have another good thing happen in my life it is alright by me just to have him.” This I truly mean but I still hope good will come my way. And it will every first day of the week in the form of my favorite day, Sunday.

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My baby daughter is buying a house. That is nothing short of amazing in my mommy mind. Even more amazing is that she is buying a house big enough for our whole family to live there and asked us to do just that. It does not surprise me that she would do such a gracious thing. It is who she is, loving, giving and family centered. Of course I am thrilled, we all are. Our household will consist of 7 including my grandbaby, who is my life and breath. If nothing else good ever happens in my life being with my family and my little guy would be enough for me. Though we have all at times lived apart, we are better together. Unlike many families, we fully support each other in decisions and endevors though they would be different than we would choose for ourselves. We accept and respect each others differences and care for each other in times of need. We celebrate little things as well as the big ones to find reasons to hang out together. We know how lucky we are and are saddened by how few people will know love with their own family as we have. Though the past couple of years have been difficult for us all, the thing that has helped us each survive is our family bond. Love sure does make the world go round.

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New Beginnings

It’s great to be back after a long absence. Blogging regularly is now part of my new beginnings program, as well as turning 50 which is definitely a new beginning. Graduating college is another. Both of which I accomplished this month. Yay Me! Despite all the celebration and accomplishment I find that sometimes I still have that old nagging trepidation and anxiety over what the future holds. I have to remind myself that situations are temporary and I won’t always be out of work, fund challenged or constantly worried about my health. One day I will have all of the kind of work I love and can handle, a full bank account, will be back in shape and have a healthy immune system once again. You might ask yourself how I know this? Because I believe I will. Of course I have no hard proof except the facts. The facts are that I have made it through a nasty divorce, raised three great kids on my own, and survived Breast Cancer. That is all I need to tell me I have every right to believe that better days are right around the corner. Life is always changing. Don’t be afraid to dream. All things are possible if you believe. I will keep you updated but until then hang in there all you hopefuls. Great things are on their way to you.

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